The Road To SelfDestruction
by Elena Cast
Summary: The first time I saw them was the first day of my freshman year in highschool.Oh I had heard of them plenty of times. They were only the most infamous family in Forks. There were 7 of them in total. The perfect cookie cutter family…from the outside.
1. Chapter 1

_**An: Okay I have a good feeling about this story. This is just the prologue, so make sure you let me know what you think.**_

_**Discalimer- I do not own the Cullens or anything Twilight related...:( **_

_**Prologue **_

_The first time I saw them was the first day of my freshman year in highschool. _

_Oh I had heard of them plenty of times. They were only the most infamous family in Forks._

_Rumors of drug use and connections with the mob surrounded the Cullen family. Of course they were so elusive and good at whatever it is they truly do that none of the rumors could ever be proven….or outright denied._

_The five kids had attended a different middle school than most of us, so it was the first time for a lot of us to set our eyes on them. _

_There were 7 of them in total. The perfect cookie cutter family…from the outside._

_Carlisle with his good looks and job as the top doctor at the Forks Memorial Hospital._

_Esme, with her compassion and charming interior design business._

_Rosalie, her fiery personality and great beauty-not to mention her wicked wit when it came to cars._

_And Emmet, he was the star football player naturally, buff with a poster boy smile to match. _

_Alice, her uncanny ability with fashion and pixie-like features._

_Jasper, with his calm and cool exterior and handsome features._

_And finally, Edward, the incredibly gifted prodigy child, practically excelling at everything he does, gorgeous too. _

_And in all of their glory each was immaculately dressed and proper at all times. Preserving their perfect image they gave to local charities and donated to the schools among other things all the time._

_It was every girls dream to be with a Cullen, probably every boys dream too. But unfortunately for us nobodies they were all conveniently paired off except one._

_Rosalie is with Emmet. And Alice is with Jasper. Carlisle is with Esme of course. And Edward….well he certainly has enough options._

_And I know what your thinking, how can they be siblings and be dating? Before you get all disgusted I'd like to just point out that they are all adopted so its perfectly normal…well legal._

_But even with all the information that I've provided, no one really knows any of the Cullen's personally. They eat together, hang together, they do everything together. No one has ever been invited in. _

_And some should be grateful for that because even though they seem like a perfect family it doesn't mean they are nice. _

_It doesn't mean they aren't twisted._

_And it doesn't mean that those rumors aren't true. _

_They all have their secrets._

_**An: So? Think I should continue?**_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sorry about not updating sooner. Don't know whether to continue on with this story or not. Let me know what you think. Any reviews are appreciated. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own anything twilight related, or any other labels or brands that may be mentioned. Okay on with the story then…**

_**Sophomore Year-**_

Summer was over and it was another dreaded first day of school. So naturally when my roaring beast of a red truck pulled into the school parking space you could tell everyone was dragging…and cursing my existence from the added noise I had created at 7 in the morning. It was the only time these people ever bothered to acknowledge my existence ….well most of them anyways I noted after I spotted Mike Newton making his way over to me.

"Hey Bella, how was your summer?" he asks opening my door for me with a dimpled smile.

"Hey Mike." I bite out and hop down ignoring the hand he had extended out to me and making my way towards the school.

I know it seemed a little harsh, but I know Mike and he ignored me like all the rest of them until I hit puberty last year. With his baby face, blue eyes and blonde hair I guess he figured I'd be so giddy to be asked out by a_ football player_. Too bad that wasn't the case and now it's been a constant array of "Hey Bella, wanna do this?" "How bought this?" "So, weekend plans?" Ugh I know I sound so egocentric, but that's not even the case. He's just not for me.

It's about the point I reach the door that I notice he is following me, and only because he darts in front of me to hold open the door.

"So Bella if your not doing anything this weekend maybe we could get together?" he asks unrelenting little thing that he is.

See I really wasn't just petting my ego.

"Thanks" I say walking into school "But really Mike no, I don't have the time to date." I yell over my shoulder rushing into the girl's bathroom thanking heaven he couldn't follow me in there.

I mean its not that I was lying, I really wasn't. I had to keep my grades up so I could get a scholarship when it came time for college. No way was I going to let myself be distracted with boys…well that boy at least.

"What does he see that's so special anyways" I whisper staring at my reflection in the mirror.

Plain Brown eyes and hair that's way too long and frizzy. My practically flat chest. The only thing I had going for me was clear skin and the fact that I wasn't chunky. I admit I'm not hideous but I'm not some star prize.

Suddenly the stall to the right of me flies open and out comes Alice Cullen in all her fashionable glory. She waltzes up to the mirror next to me idly checking her make up.

"It's not what he see's it's what he doesn't see is what's got him so fixated on you" she states turning towards me.

"What….?"I exclaim my mouth flopping open like a gaping fish._ Way to go Bella, _My inner monologue me snarked. _Make yourself look like and idiot in front of a Cullen, in less than five seconds too. I think that's a record. _

She chuckles, making her look even more angelic and devious with all her pixie like features.

"Ohh Bella, you're so clueless. Mike of course"

-A Cullen knows my name?

"Yes I know your name; we were in gym class right?"

Shit I said that out loud. I really have to control my verbal vomit. _No shit genius. _Ugh shut up. I really wasn't about to correct her about not being in her gym class, because I haven't ever had a class with a Cullen before.

"So what you're saying is Mike is just asking me out to see my….umm….." I trailed off.

"You're Pussy? Tits?" she lists.

"Um..yea…" I stutter, of course my first conversation with a Cullen would be about sex, something I know nothing about. _Ugh virgin!_

"So just fuck him and he'll be done with you, problem solved." She starts walking towards the door, finished with me as it seems.

She yanks open the door and turns to me one last time. "Who knows, you might enjoy it" she says winking.

And then I'm alone again. Ugh to bad the only thing that would get Mike to leave me alone is something I definitely wouldn't do. I mean I'm not a prude, there's just one guy I kind of have my eye on is all. I guess it kind of makes me like every other girl in school but I'm unconditionally irrevocably in-fascination with Edward Cullen. He's a notorious playboy these days though and from what I've heard a total ass. So it really would never work out.

It doesn't help that he doesn't know I exist, or the fact that I've never spoken one word to him. I mean I don't really know if I would want to anyways. All he seems to do with girls is fuck them and leave them. And I while I hear the girls are completely satisfied, I know that he would never even look at me for a potential sex partner. But oh I don't know what I'd do if he did.

"_**Rinnnnnnnnng" **_

"SHIT!" I exclaim.

Darting out of the bathroom I bound down the hallway, trying to recall where my homeroom is. I'm late! _What ever happened to not losing your focus over a boy?_ "Shut it" I mumble turning the corner sharply, and running straight into a brick wall and falling into a sea of tangled limbs. Uh oh. Who did I injure now?

I'm momentarily stunned as I realize I'm looking into the most striking green eyes I've ever seen and I'm obsessive enough to know that this is Edward Cullen that I'm currently laying on and he's hard.

"Fuck!" I practically moan.

"UGH YOU BITCH GET THE FUCK OFF ME AND MY BOYFRIEND!" a screeching familiar voice shouts from under us.

And it is then that I realize what I must have interrupted and that Edwards "problem" isn't because I'm laying on him. Cue my blush that probably made me look like and ugly cherry.

I realized that I'm sitting on a ticking time bomb. Because Edward does not look happy. In fact he looks furious. Before I can make my legs move I'm promptly thrown into the nearest wall.

"Ugh, ow" I whimper, clutching my head.

"Why don't you fucking watch where you're going next time, ugly bitch?" Edward yells, towering over me anger radiating off of him.

Now my eyes are tearing up for a whole other reason, all hope that he might pick me one day was lost. I mean there wasn't much hope before this, but there was always the fairytale. A girl can dream. He notices my change. And he smirks sadistically.

"Awe do you wish it was you that I was about to take against the wall. Because I would never willingly touch someone as pathetic and worthless like you." he sneers at me. Seeming to enjoy the way I cringed away from him, willing the floor to open up and swallow me whole.

"Like I would ever want someone like you!" I shout at him trying to regain a once of my dignity.

He smirks at me, on side of his lip curling higher then the other, delicious…

"Honey lets not pretend that you actually have enough options to choose from now." he says his piercing green eyes running up and down my body. If it wasn't for the way he grimaced in disgust I would have assumed he was checking me out….not that there was much to check out compared to Jessica's well….lets just say she definitely didn't need to stuff her bra. Not that I did or anything! _Hmn right. _Ugh shut up!

And that's about the time I think he took mercy on me and turned his attention towards Jessica.

"And you" he says dangerously.

"I am not and will never be your boyfriend." he says in disgust, turning to stalk his way down the hall.

Jessica stands and turns toward me smirking, like she wasn't just cowering at Edward Cullen's feet. Her 4 inch stilettos making her tower over me menacingly.

"Ugh you have to spy on other people because you can't get any, don't you?" she sneers at me.

"Yea, because my idea of spying is literally running you over. That makes sooo much sense doesn't it?" I mock, glaring up at her.

"Freak" she snaps turning on her heals and stalking down the hallways in the same direction Edward had took.

And me, I was left alone, wondering why I ever wanted _that monster!_ And why for some sick reason, I still wanted him. I really was sick. Or maybe that's just how pathetic I really was. I, Bella Swan was no different than all the other girls in the world who laid eyes on Edward Cullen. But if I had anything to do with it, we would never cross paths again. _Psh yeah keep telling yourself that. _

_**7 years later-Present day-Seattle Washington-**_

"Uhh hey Bella, It's…um…Steve. I was just calling…to….well….um you see the thing is…while I had a lovely time the other night…I just…don't think that were…right for each other!Ya that's it! Um well I got to go. Talk to you-…see you- well bye! Baby come back to bed…"

"End of messages" Yeah really sure we weren't right for each other since your already in bed with someone else. Next time the fucker should hang up the goddamn phone before the fucking bitch in his bed speaks. Honestly what should I expect though? He breaks up with me over the phone…to my voicemail no doubt. Though I use the term break up lightly. I barley call three dates a relationship. Though denying him sex on a third date must not be as understanding in the male brain as denying it on the first two dates. Now that I had gained the "prude" status it was naturally time for his other "brain" to face facts and cut me loose.

Happens all the time. I should be used to it. But it's starting to get hopeless. I mean being a 23 year old virgin makes it hard enough to find my other half I suppose I should call it. Its not that I'm into the whole "no sex till marriage" bit. But I'm also not into the whole "ohh yeah your eyes are blue? Of course you can fuck me" thing either. Okay I'm a bit of a cynical bitch. And it's not like I'm so hot that guys are just lining up. So what can I do?

"Who was that?" Angela asks, lounging on the love seat across the room.

Ever since I hightailed it outta Forks to Seattle and found Angela's ad in the paper for a roommate we had immediately got on well and became good friends. It was like fate. Though while she was going to college, I on the other hand was working all the low paying jobs I could get my hands on. Fate is a funny thing.

"Steve" I say, my face grim.

"Oh" she says her sympathetic eyes staring at me.

I look away. I don't want or need her pity. I can be happy alone!

"I know!" she bursts out, jumping off the love seat and running around our beat up coffee table towards me. "Girls night, I'll call Jacob and we can all get slutted up and paint the town red!" she squeals. Already running towards the phone to call Jake. That brings me to my other best friend. Jacob Black. He was the gayest guy I had ever met. Though that's not saying much considering I had never been out of Washington. Apparently he was in Ang's English class and she brought him home one night to hang out. The rest is history. Jake was outrageous and he new how to party. Though I had to admit it was a shame he was gay. That boy was a looker. Tanned and muscular. Dark eyes and hair. But isn't that how they say it always works anyways?

"Okay, Jakes in and on his way over in a half hour. Beauty Queen needs to put his "party face" on, so he says." Ang says walking out of her bedroom.

"Great" I said smiling.

Putting off the inevitable. The Bella Barbie makeover. Unfortunately my lack of fashion sense hadn't really changed all that much over the years. And Ang and Jake loved nothing more than to dress me up like a doll. Much to my distaste. Over the years I had learned not to complain though. They always managed to make me look as best as I'd ever be able to get.

"Well Bella, are you going to go willingly?" she asks, a half crazed smile coming over her face.

"Yeah just let me get my ipod" I sigh. And so after 20 gruesome minutes with my eyes closed listening to the soothing sounds of Debussy. She finally taps me on my shoulder and yanks my ear buds out.

"Rise and shine baby, time to see your inner goddess emerge for a night of fucktastic fun!" Jake bellows in my ear.

"Jake!"

"Bella Bear" he exclaims, blowing me a kiss.

"When did you get here?" I ask.

"Ohh just in time to help me do your hair" Angela says from behind him.

"And what a lovely job we did, if I do say so myself" Jake squeals.

He of course is wearing his best v-neck shirt and jeans. And the shiniest shoes ever. Jake always says that no one likes a man with dirty shoes. It's a pet peeve of his. I never understood it myself. His hair is perfectly gelled. And he is as always clean shaven to a T.

"Well Bella Bear aren't you going to look at the new you!" he says swerving the chair I was sitting in to face the vanity mirror in Angela's bedroom.

The girl in the mirror wasn't surprising though. It was how I normally looked in the aftermath of their Bella Barbie play. My hair was perfectly tousled chocolate waves. And my lips were a natural stained light pink. My chocolate brown eyes were wearing what Angela called "the smoky eye" look. Supposedly to make me look "mysterious" as Jake calls it.

"Great, thanks guys" I simply say, swiveling in the chair to face them. They smile at me probably not expecting much more.

"So now for your clothes, courtesy of Jake of course" Ang says.

"Ugh Jake, stop spending your money on me!"

"Bella! It was just your color, just wear it. It isn't like I can" he whines.

Angela has already gotten it out of the bag Jake had brought it over in and yeah while beautiful, you could tell it was way too much. It was a dark blue halter dress that synched at the waist and flowed down to above the knees. Much shorter than what I'm used to wearing. All in all it was a simple sexy dress. And I loved it. I changed into it without any complaints. It was only when Angela yanked out a pair of Juicy Couture pumps that I began to panic.

"Um Ang, Juicy is great…But 4 inch heels and the highly uncoordinated do not mix" I said fearfully gazing at the shoes.

"Please Bella, if all goes as planned you'll be finding some hunk that will be just waiting to catch you when you fall" Jake gushed while Ang nodded enthusiastically next to him shoving the shoes into my hands.

Of course the gay guy would be the hopeless romantic. And they better not be thinking that I didn't catch that they used "when you fall" instead of "if you fall". This is all a part of their plan probably. I wonder what it was this time. Maybe operation GBL "Get Bella Laid". That's what these two were normally all about anyways.

"Fine I'll wear the damn hell heels, where are we going tonight anyways?" I ask reaching down to take off my converse and put on the hell heels-no offense intended to JC.

"Midnight Sun of course!" they both yelled joining hands and jumping up and down.

How could I have forgotten though? One of the Infamous Cullen Brothers was opening a club up this weekend and tonight just happened to be the opening night. I should have known that this is where they were going to drag me in the first place. After all it was the fist time the Cullen's have even been heard of being back in Washington after the last of them graduated. Now they were back and naturally the talk of the whole town.

Maybe if I was lucky I would see Edward. I hadn't spoken to him at all after that day in the hallway. We just never seemed to cross paths again. _Please, you avoided him like the plague._ Oh okay yeah I did. But anyone would after that. But it's been 7 years. I was different. _Ohh yeah you're a regular hottie now.-_Okay well I was different tonight at least. Time to unleash the new Bella Swan. _Ha that's laughable. _

**AN: So there you have it. First chapter. Hope you weren't too disappointed. Edwards's grand entrance back into the story will be in the next chapter. Bella-well all the characters are a little or in some cases a lot OOC. Bella does have a cynical emotional bashing alter ego that talks to her. She might just be a bit insane, but hey aren't we all : )**

**PS: Reviews make me update faster. **


End file.
